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Festival of the Wise Grandmother And Samhain

At this time of the year, shops are filled with fake spider webs, witches’ costumes, cauldrons, rubber frogs and an assortment of ghoulish items from jelly eyeballs to skeletons, and the ever-essential candy. For many children, Halloween is associated with knocking on the doors of strangers and receiving sugary sweets. This ancient festival has become known as a time to ignite people’s fears about the Underworld.

 

 

Halloween, however, was traditionally a festival which honoured the wise grandmother, otherwise known as The Crone. The Goddess is honoured by her three aspects: maiden, mother, grandmother. At Samhain (All Hallow’s Eve) it is the Grandmother (Crone) who takes centre stage as she asks that we use this time to look back over the year and go inwards to learn what will make us a better person in the coming year. It is a time of reflection, transformation and renewal. As Samhain, Festival of the Wise Grandmother, befits the season of Autumn, it is a time to let go and release anything that does not serve us.

 

 

An altar for my ancestors

 

What was beautiful and symbolic of the great feminine, such as the Crone’s cauldron representing the womb of the Great Goddess, has been bastardised into ‘evil witches on broomsticks casting dangerous spells’. In Britain, the tradition of children trick or treating originated with asking for donations to help the poor. In Celtic tradition, Hallow’s Eve (renamed as Halloween by the Christian Church) is the time which signifies the end of Summer (Samhain; pronounced sow en). For Celts, this is the beginning of the New Year.

 

The Saxons called it Winter’s Eve. The ancestors were honoured at this time of year, and it was believed by many cultures that the ‘veil’ between this world and the next was thinnest and therefore an ideal time for communication between the living and the dead. This is certainly my experience.

 

How can we teach our children to celebrate this tradition in a way which is symbolically rich and meaningful beyond the commercialisation of modern-day Halloween? There are many ways, such as making a special meal and serving a plate for the unseen guests.

 

It could be gathering unneeded items from the home, such as outgrown clothes, food staples and toys, and giving them to charity (the cycle of Scorpio is a perfect time for letting go).

Making a small altar with photos of your ancestors, and lighting a candle, allows you to create a focal piece in your home. In our family, rather than carve scary faces into pumpkins, we have traditionally cut love hearts so that the light of love shines from our windows. I taught my children, when they were young, the origins of the carved pumpkin: Irish immigrants used turnips, and introduced this idea in the USA in the 18th century.

 

The Law of Attraction is clear: we become what we focus on. Do we teach our children about fear and negative energies, or do we demonstrate love, and that death is a doorway to another world; and that there is nothing to be frightened of? We can educate our children (and friends) about the history of Halloween, and how it began more than 2,000 years ago as a way of honouring the Crone as well as the end of the harvest season. Her archetype, after all, is that of: you shall reap what you sow. She asks us, our wise grandmother, to take responsibility for our actions.

A Samhain Altar

There are countless ways to celebrate Samhain in your home. Beginning with a simple altar is a great way to start. Use colours and symbols of the harvest season, such as orange and black. Those of us who celebrate earth-based spirituality use black because it represents the cape of the Wise Crone, and the waning Moon. It is symbolic of the dark Earth―the underworld; a type of womb―in which seeds will gestate during the long dark Winter.

We make full use of harvest foods and plants, such as apples, acorns, rosehips, pumpkins, corn, pomegranates and marigolds. On the altar you may find beeswax candles, a cauldron, and Autumn leaves. Mugs may be filled with apple cider or warm honey mead.

On your altar, you can add photos or heirlooms of your ancestors, and invite them to meet you at the veil. Of course, in some homes the ancestor altar is on display all year round.

Sharing the Feast

When creating your Samhain feast, include a place for your ancestors and ancestresses. Just a spoon of food and a mouthful of beverage will suffice. It’s symbolic. Some families leave a bowl of porridge or soup by the hearth, or a candle in the window, while others place an empty chair by the woodstove. These acts are said to guide ‘hungry ghosts’ to comfort, and that humans will be blessed by their interactions with these wandering spirits. This is the perfect opportunity to teach your children about their family tree and ancestral history. If you have letters, photos or books from your ancestors, share them and talk about what they mean to your family. If you don’t have any items, you can write the names of ancestors on paper to place on your altar. To contact your ancestresses and ancestors, close your eyes and be mindful of your breathing. Use this time to ask yourself: who am I?

We are a collection of cells passed down from many, many people in the family line. We have their strengths, their weakness, and we house their failures and their dreams. The Festival of the Wise Grandmother is a time to honour the past and the present, and to consider what we are creating in our future.

 

I am the daughter of Angelika and Albertus,

granddaughter of Minna-Marie and Dieter, and Liselotte and Erwin.

 

I come from a long line of people who lived in the cold of Northern Europe: Vikings, shipbuilders, seafarers, mothers, craftsmen and musicians. I come from men and women whose names I do not know, but I do know they were: strong, pioneering, loving, creative, and held family as sacred.

Keep speaking aloud, telling your family story. If there are tales you know, verbalise them. You can ask the ancient ones to guide you on your life’s journey, and to protect you and your loved ones. If you feel you’re carrying family wounds, ask to be freed from them. If you wish to be instrumental in healing wounded archetypes in your lineage, then ask how you can experience and release these stories so that you and your descendants may find and write their own script.

Not everyone in our lineage is someone we wish to be connected to, but with love and forgiveness we can move forward, and in doing so, we free the energy of that person, too.

Use this time to think about your life, and what transformations you’ve undergone. You might choose to meditate, use runes, or practise divination with tarot cards. Perhaps you’ll write down your dreams, or take a solitary walk in the woods and listen to the night owl beneath moonlight.

 

 

A phoenix ceremony goes hand in hand with any celebration of Samhain. Review, release and let go. That is the message from the Wise Grandmother. If you have a patio or garden where you can create an open fire (even in a cauldron or small contained pit), use this to write down old habits or negative things you wish to release from your life to release.

Be clear: Samhain and Halloween are not meant to be negative, fear-inducing or about black magic, but quite the opposite. Perhaps those who were instrumental in changing its pure meaning were afraid of the empowerment and the strength of women?

Do feel free to share your positive Samhain and Halloween experiences. Perhaps you could invite friends to take a mindful walk in woodlands near your home. You could make a journey stick, collecting seasonal items from Nature when out walking, to share the story of where you’ve been.

Costumes are a popular part of the modern- day Halloween. According to Samhain tradition, to wear a costume or mask during this time would help to distract wandering spirits from calling you to the Otherworld before your allotted time. Tradition also suggests that it was a way of absorbing the strength of the creature you were imitating. It was common, too, to make noise using hands or drums to interrupt daily human noise. This created a portal to the Otherworld which enabled spirits to make contact and whisper messages to the living.

As a family, you could visit the local cemetery (even if you have no loved ones there), and leave an offering, such as water, herbs, flowers, seeds, bulbs or gemstones.

With your family, you can offer a prayer of gratitude:

 

Thank you dear Earth

for all that you have given us so bountifully this season.

We open our arms to the Sacred Darkness.

 

Take your spicy mead or cider, and make libations to Mother Earth, as symbolic of the Wise Grandmother.

We have gathered the harvest,

and Winter is coming.

We give thanks.

 

If you have a Goddess symbol of the Wise Grandmother, place it on your altar. You might like to make ink art or create dreamcatchers as part of your Halloween celebrations.

At the heart of any ritual and celebration which honours the Earth and her seasons is the use of fire as a symbol. Samhain and Halloween are no different. Fire reminds us that we’re in need of light and warmth. It invites introspection as we draw nearer to the flame.

Make a Samhain wreath using grain stalks, nuts, apples, leaves, conkers and rosehips, and place it on your front door.

 

Ensure your garden is tidy before All Hallow’s Eve so that it may rest peacefully for the Winter.

Honour the darkness by lighting candles, or celebrating with a bonfire. The light of fire is enhanced by the sheer darkness of night. The light reminds us that there is life in the Underworld.

Press flowers in old books.

Plant bulbs. As you bury them in the dark, moist and fertile womb of Mother Earth, offer a prayer to the Goddess of the Underground. Write your wishes on paper, and bury them with the bulbs.

Harvest your produce, and store well.

If you are celebrating Samhain with friends, hold hands and stand in a circle around your bonfire. Invite the ancestresses to be with you. Feel the power as each of you verbalises your connections to the Otherworld.

Wear black during Samhain to celebrate the season and all it represents.

Make spirals or hearts from seeds and nuts.

Sit outside at twilight and listen for the voices of your ancestresses in the wind.

Take a solitary walk at night time to feel the sense of the season.

Practise ecological awareness, and give back to Earth rather than using products made from crude oils or ancient sunlight.

  

Veronika Robinson comes from a long line of white witches (the ones they were never able to burn). She is a ceremonialist, author, celebrant trainer,  and second-generation astrologer who is happiest walking in the woods or tucked up by the woodstove.

If the thinning of the veil inspires you to have a reading with her, such as an Astrology or Angelik Reading, visit here.

 

 

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View from the porch

In certain parts of the world, having a porch or verandah was integral to the home. Over time, with new builds, these are often omitted. I’ve been reflecting a lot about this in light of the many benefits which come from having an outside extension and living space to the home. In my homeland of Australia, a Queenslander (type of home) always had a verandah, and often wrapped around three sides. It connected one to the outside world while providing some shelter from the weather. A porch or verandah was a meeting place for friends and family. A gathering place of community and connection.


For almost 26 years now, I’ve made my home in rural Cumbria in the north of England. Our home has a porch. It’s an outdoor area with a roof that allows us to be outside and, if necessary, have cover during rain.


And it is to the porch I come for many reasons: morning cuppa, quiet time in my day, meditation, a chat with husband, lunch with friends, to cook damper over the firepit with loved ones, watch the birds at the bird-feeding station, to breathe in the calm of the night-time stars and Moon before I head to bed, and I come here to write ceremonies and books. Although I have a lovely writing room, I’ve found that sitting out here at my table gives me a view that, even though it’s the same as from my writing room, feels more connected. In many ways, this space has become my psychic sound chamber: where I consider, digest and live with my many thoughts and feelings on all manner of things.


There are two views from the porch; the view I can see before me, and the inner vision that evolves from these daily pockets of porch time.

Last Christmas, I decided to treat myself to a week’s hire of a hot tub. Warmth, particularly warm or hot water, is my idea of bliss. Christmas week is a full one: our celebration of Christmas on Christmas Eve as per my German ancestors; my birthday on the 28th, our wedding anniversary on the 29th. I figured being able to soak for a few hours each day would help me unwind from a busy work year. What I learned, by sitting outside in the middle of an ice-cold Winter, was that even though it’s a time I’d traditionally hibernate, the world outside couldn’t have been more alive. I’d be up long before sunrise delighted to step into that warmth and relax. Beneath starlight, I enjoyed watching the skyline change from ink-black to blue. At other times, I soaked in the warmth while a thunderstorm raged around me. I was in that tub at least twice a day, and for a good couple of hours each time. The changing colours of the sky, the dance of clouds, watching the flight of birds, and so on, were beautiful reminders that nothing stays still. Life is always changing.



What I’ve learned from porch life is that no matter how crazy-busy my work days get, or if I’m working seven days a week from before sunrise right through to deep into the night, stepping out onto the porch transforms me. In some ways, it’s become a healthy addiction. This view is what allows me to keep going.

Being connected to the natural world in this way is the equivalent someone else might feel when they see a regular counsellor. Are you ok? What’s been happening? Want to talk about it? How do you feel about that?

 

Veronika Robinson is an author, publisher, celebrant, celebrant trainer and mentor, and retreat host in rural Cumbria. 

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The Confidential Celebrant in Cumbria

In celebrant life, it’s such a joy to share photos from our ceremonies whether it’s of wedding couples, the venue, décor, cake, floristry, landscape/seascape or with other ceremonies, such as words of reflection about a moving funeral.

 



What isn’t talked about so much, or shared, in modern celebrancy is the role of confidentiality. All my ceremony contracts have an opt-in section for those couples who are happy for me to share photos of their ceremony. This goes way beyond any GDPR requirements, which are hopefully a given, but about respecting that not every person we work with is comfortable about being used to document our working life.

More often than not, though, there are couples who, for whatever reason, do not want any aspect/mention of their day broadcast: their names, images, venue and so on. Whether this request is because of their professional or celebrity status or because they don’t want their images on the internet, this is their right: it’s their ceremony, their identity, their life.

 



As a funeral celebrant, although I readily share snippets from my working life about which venue I’ve worked at or the life someone lived, names are kept out of my social media posts. I don’t share cover photos of the Order of Service, either. I also feel strongly about not sharing information about child funerals (with or without names).

In a social culture which shares ‘everything’ it can seem, for a celebrant, like their hands are tied if they can’t post about every single ceremony. Celebrancy is not a sport. We’re not in competition with each other about who has the most ceremonies, or who has the most high-profile clients, and so on. Although there are celebrants who won’t take on couples if they can’t share photos of their ceremony, I’m not one of them. Maybe it’s my age (I’m no spring chicken), or because I’ve been a celebrant since the mid 1990s long before social media ruled our lives, but I’m not motivated by bragging rights.

 



I absolutely LOVE it when couples generously share their wedding album with me and give me free reign to use any of the pics on my website or socials, and am grateful for this. Of course I am. It is a joy to share these.

 



I’ve never been the sort of celebrant who insists on taking a selfie with each couple to post on social media. If you want one with me, then of course I’ll join you. It would be my pleasure.

AND

I am also a confidential celebrant. So if you don’t want mention of your names, day, dress, décor, venue and so on shared, that’s absolutely fine, too. Many of my couples requests this.

When celebrants say “Your day your way” that should mean iron-clad confidentiality, too.

 

 

 

 

Darryl and Greg at Three Hills Barn. Celebrant: Veronika Robinson



Veronika Robinson is a confidential Heart-led Celebrant in Cumbria. She has had the immense pleasure of creating beautiful weddings since 1995, and still has a skip in her step each time she heads off to officiate a ceremony. Although her practice is based in Cumbria, she officiates from Cornwall to Callanish, and everywhere in between, as well as internationally. Veronika is an inclusive celebrant and practises discrimination-free celebrancy. Her officiating style is relaxed, authentic, friendly, warm, gentle, caring, and with natural humour. She creates ceremonies across all rites of passage, whether religious, spiritual, agnostic or atheist.

Veronika and her husband Paul are co-tutors at Heart-led Celebrants Celebrant Training in Cumbria.

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What Does a Celebrant’s Fee Include

Each celebrant sets their own fee based on either undercutting other celebrants (a busy celebrant does not mean a good celebrant), staying midrange and in line with many of those in their area, or at the high end to attract wealthy clients.

My fee isn’t based on what other celebrants charge or on a client’s budget. And nor is it based on an hourly rate.

What it is based on is what I bring to the table:
* 28 years as a working celebrant with experience across all rites of passage
* Masters Degree in Creative Writing
* Industry Expert
* Empathy, care, kindness, compassion
* Highly developed skillset
* Organisational skills
* Travel time
* Creating and developing script ideas
* Research
* Writing
* Interviews/meetings
* Rehearsing the script
* Rehearsal day (for weddings)
* Officiating on the day

 



I’m an accomplished, competent and confident public speaker who is praised for her diction, gentle and humorous manner. Due to my vast amount of experience, it means that my clients are in safe hands. I’m never going to let them down. How can you put a price on that?

I could charge half the price I do for a wedding (and do 2 to 3 weddings a day) but my goal, my ONLY goal, is to deliver weddings of quality. My commitment to each wedding couple is that I only do one ceremony a day. That means my focus is 100% on them. 

Veronika Robinson is a Heart-led Celebrant in Cumbria. She has had the immense pleasure of creating beautiful weddings since 1995, and still has a skip in her step each time she heads off to officiate a ceremony. Although her practice is based in Cumbria, she officiates from Cornwall to Callanish, and everywhere in between, as well as internationally. Veronika is an inclusive celebrant and practises discrimination-free celebrancy. Her officiating style is relaxed, authentic, friendly, warm, gentle, caring, and with natural humour.

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Discrimination-free Celebrancy

An essential part of my role as a celebrant is having an openness and open heart towards all human beings, and practising non-duality. As a Heart-led Celebrant I am inclusive in my work. What does this mean?

 

I practise discrimination-free celebrancy. This means that I will not discriminate (or associate with those who discriminate) against you on the grounds of religion or other beliefs, disability, mental health, body shape or size, health narrative, socio-economic status, race, culture, gender, gender reassignment, age, marital or parental status.

I honour the right of each human being to celebrate their life. You have my assurance that I will accord you the respect you deserve.


Veronika Robinson is a Heart-led Celebrant in Cumbria, England, and has been practising as a celebrant since 1995, officiating internationally across all rites of passage. She’s also a celebrant trainer and prolific author.











Tags: celebrant training, discrimination-free celebrancy, non-duality
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The Human Touch: why AI won’t be part of my work as a celebrant and author


The world is changing. There’s no question of that. I’ve long held the belief that to live and thrive in this world it’s not so much ‘survival of the fittest’ but ‘survival of those who can adapt’. And this has always served me well both in terms of being a risk taker and rolling with life’s pulls and punches. It’s a kind of shape shifting that allows me to bend, like a willow, and make my way in the world no matter what. Increasingly, though, there’s an aspect to this world, and specifically how it impacts my work as a celebrant, celebrant trainer and author, where I have been questioning just how much I adapt to those changes. Am I just an old ‘fuddy duddy’ now I’m almost 56? Am I behind the times? Is it time to hang up my celebrant hat? I’m referring to the widespread use of Artificial Intelligence (AI).

 



Bit by bit I’ve watched changes in the celebrant world, for example: celebrants using Kindle or some other technology to read their script from during a ceremony or various apps and programmes to store their client information. The latest intrusions into this world include celebrants outsourcing their scripts to other celebrants/writers and also the use of AI to write their scripts.

 



Here’s where I stand: I will never use a technological device from which to read my script. Apart from the aesthetics (my main aversion), there is also the risk of the device not performing on the day (for all manner of reasons). I also use good old-fashioned diaries and calendar to keep track of my dates (no risk of technological failure/theft), and use my funeral and wedding planners for essential details. I’m not suggesting it’s wrong for a celebrant to use a Kindle or to use an app like 17 Hats. I’m simply saying that it’s not my way. In the same way that I feel holding an A4 folder looks clunky compared to a smaller A5 one.

 



When it comes to outsourcing the writing of scripts to AI or other celebrants, I feel ill at the thought. (Ditto the number of professional authors now using AI to write books so they can publish more often.) What happened to heart? What about the joy of creativity? Surely this is what we want to bring to this work?

 


If someone employs me to be their celebrant, then they are choosing ME to create and dream and write their ceremony into being through my experience, imagination, creativity, wisdom, intuition, awareness and so on. AI CAN NOT DO THIS.

When someone buys one of the books I’ve written, they are buying non-fiction books based on my experience, skills and wisdom, or fiction books based on my imagination and creativity. AI CAN NOT DO THIS for me.

Are we, as humans, becoming so far removed from what it is to be human that we think and feel it’s ok, indeed preferable, to rely on technology rather than heart and the creative fire?

And if we’re going to outsource to another human then for reasons of ethics, integrity and data protection this needs to be clearly stated at the outset on one’s website and in all communications. The buyer of your services needs to know that they’re NOT getting your services! Outsourcing the writing of scripts has become prevalent in this industry. 

 



The celebrant industry (and make no mistake, it has become an industry whereby some celebrant trainers and celebrants have completely forgotten or never knew or understood the true purpose of ceremony and the place of a celebrant) is changing rapidly, for better and for worse, in ways that would have seemed incomprehensible to me when I started on this path in 1995. I’ve had so many moments in the past few years of not wanting to be part of this changing ‘industry’. It’s so far out of alignment with my approach to celebrancy that, despite my view and ability to ‘adapt’ to changes, I’ve contemplated walking away many times. And yet, I’m still here. I remain, for now. Why? I’m here for those people who understand (even if they can’t articulate it) ceremony to be a liminal place in time whereby the celebrant holds the space for those crossing the threshold (regardless of the rite of passage). I don’t, and never will, see rituals (such as handtying) as some sort of parlour game or joke or that it’s acceptable for people to arrive at a ceremony half drunk.

I can hand on heart say I will never outsource my work to AI or another celebrant. My sense of reverence for ceremony and the rituals within it don’t mean that I’m devoid of humour or can’t create a bespoke ceremony for a fun-loving couple or family wishing a joyous celebration of life. Far from it. What it does mean is that I understand the purpose of ceremony, and at each step of the way bring my whole heart, creativity, reverence, integrity and care.

 

 



To be clear: I’m not against technology. I’m writing on a laptop. I am grateful that I have a car and that a washing machine cleans my clothes rather than me standing all day long scrubbing them and wringing the water out of each item. These things all have a place in this world. I’m not against change or advancement. Ceremonies and storytelling, though? Let’s keep the heart there. In this rapidly changing world, we need it more than ever. Let us not lose touch with compassion, empathy, kindness, humour, wisdom, awareness of body language, curiosity and creativity, and dare I say: our innate sense of spirituality.

The day I don’t bring the human touch to my work as a celebrant, celebrant trainer and author is the day I step away.

 



Veronika Robinson has been a celebrant since 1995, officiating across all rites of passage, and is the co-owner and co-tutor at Heart-led Ceremonies Celebrant Training in Cumbria. It brings her great joy to, alongside her husband Paul, teach others the sacred art of creating ceremonies from the heart.

She’s the author of over 30 books including the popular books for celebrants: Write That Eulogy; The Successful Celebrant; Wedding Celebrant Ceremony Planner; Funeral Celebrant Ceremony Planner; and coming soon: Funerals for Children; and Discrimination-free Celebrancy. On a daily basis, she is connected to the natural world and draws her inspiration from there.

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Write That Eulogy

Write That Eulogy: the art and craft of biographical storytelling

ISBN 978-1-7398336-6-4

©  Veronika Sophia Robinson

©  Extract from Changing Places by Paul Robinson

©  Cover illustration by Sarah Esau

 

Cover design, interior design and typesetting: Starflower Press

 

Literary Criticism

UK £12.99

Published by Starflower Press

www.starflowerpress.com

170 pages

 

 

“It is written in a way which is accessible to everyone.

I’m not sure how you did it,

but this book is gold dust to the new, and experienced, alike.”

Rachel Cheer, Celebrant at Hope Ceremonies

 

Some of the most important words ever spoken are only heard once.

 

Write That Eulogy offers an antidote to the tired traditional telling of eulogies. This book is for anyone who is considering writing their life story, or someone else’s, so it is told faithfully and with creative flair at their funeral.

 

Whether you’re an experienced celebrant, officiant or vicar, or are facing the task of writing your first eulogy for a loved one, this book will give you practical and proven ideas and techniques based on the author’s experience as a funeral celebrant.

 

If you’re willing to question what’s always been done, then you’re half way there to improving funeral ceremonies.

 

Veronika Robinson is a celebrant in Cumbria, in the north of England, a celebrant trainer and author.

What Celebrants Are Saying About Write That Eulogy

I found it so incredibly useful to have each stage and writing skill/tool described in such a clear and methodical way.
Breaking down the understanding of writing a eulogy, in so many ways, by looking at the areas of life (which I loved!) and also by considering literary elements, made the process of eulogy writing, for me, far less huge and daunting. And that there’s no need to sit with a blank piece of paper, wondering where to start. I think my tendency generally is to focus on the ‘whole’ which turns any task into an enormous monster; I feel I can now tackle a eulogy in stages, in a rather more sensible fashion.

I’m reminded that writing is an on-going process, and the development of skills and, very importantly, attention to the senses, can really make a difference to sensitive and thoughtful writing.

I find that family sometimes seem to feel duty or honour bound to write and deliver a eulogy themselves, as if it’s the last thing they can ‘do’ for the deceased. So for anyone who does choose to deliver a eulogy, your book would be an absolute godsend.

Truly, I loved it; it’s accessible, so informative and a joy to read. I also find your ability to share personal information about yourself really heartwarming.
Lorraine Haven, Celebrant, U.K

‘Write That Eulogy’ has been a joy to read. The way in which you manage to paint the most beautiful pictures with your words, not just as part of one of your eulogies, but in leading your readers to see, hear, feel, and physically experience your style, is a true gift. I have been lucky enough to train with you Veronika, and already receive wonderful comments from people who have listened to one of my eulogies, thanks to you. But I have learned so much more from the varied and insightful examples given, and been thoroughly challenged by your exercises, to examine how much more I could, and will, be doing.

Sharing the details of someone’s life should be treated with the greatest of respect, but that does not mean their Eulogy shouldn’t be a true reflection of them, whether they were joyful, dour, nature lovers, hoarders, care givers or miseries.

Veronika, your book not only acknowledges, it pays unflinching tribute to all of those most difficult circumstances which could be faced, meets them head on, and gives eloquent examples for how to deal with them.

Anyone, from an experienced Celebrant, to a person just writing for someone by default, will be able to improve not just their writing skills, but their delivery skills as well, achieving that much sought after outcome of bringing the person back to life, one last time.

Thank you Veronika.
Michelle Knight, Celebrant, UK


It provides a step-by-step guide to the multifaceted task of eulogy construction. I think if I was new to the subject, this would be a brilliant guide. Equally, I was riveted, as a more experienced writer. I think all the examples really bring it to life.

We never stop learning our trade. It is easy to slip into more mundane ways and this is a beautiful prod to never become boring. I have learned that there is much technical detail in a eulogy. I think I do lots of it naturally, but it has made me appreciate the complexity of the work.

It is written in a way which is accessible to everyone. I’m not sure how you did it, but this book is gold dust to the new, and experienced, alike.
Rachel Cheer, Celebrant, Scotland

This book will definitely help me with eulogy writing. I loved the areas of human life, these will certainly help me to reframe my questioning and help me to get more meaningful information to work with. I also loved reading the scene setting, and again, this made me think about my own style of writing and ways to improve it.
This book would be useful for anyone who works with people as it helps you to think ‘outside of the box’ and question the very essence of human beings.
Lianne Downey, Celebrant, England

Wow! The Twelve Areas of Human Life was absolutely fascinating. Your experience and attention to fact finding and in-depth detail of avoiding the dreaded resume we so often hear at funerals was not only enlightening but much appreciated. Word Medicine and the chapter titled Difficult Death Stories were chock full of helpful information and I am just amazed at some of the situations you’ve had to rise above and work with.

I have learned so much that I feel my anxiety towards interviewing mourners actually dissolving!

Has to be the most interesting “text book” I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.
Kimberlee Brown-Cassady, Celebrant, USA

I loved this book for lots of different reasons. Firstly it was very inviting – it makes you want to be the best you can be, at creating a eulogy which honours and tells the story of the deceased.

I loved it, as a newbie to the celebrant world; it’s a book that is super insightful, helpful, and packed full of a life’s worth of learning to help others be the best they can be at writing that eulogy!
Deb Anderson, Celebrant, England

You make the reader recognise that writing a great eulogy is not for the faint hearted, and you must have a passion for writing and understand the mechanics of it. The anecdotal experiences described give the reader a real sense of the work of a professional celebrant.
Gill Bunting, Celebrant, England

Write That Eulogy has been woven together beautifully; it’s an effortless read which can teach an individual a lot about themselves, as well as a craft that you have spent years fine-tuning.
Ben Foreman, Celebrant, Scotland

I have learned that I will never stop learning. Your writing is inspirational. I must admit that this book will be read many times. There are many subjects covered that I feel reviewing it after reading it only once is a disservice. It will help enormously with writing my eulogies. This book will be of great help to existing celebrants and invaluable to new ones like myself. Anyone interested in words and creativity would be interested too, once they read the contents page!
Kate Pope, Celebrant, England

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Celebrant’s Notebook: Wedding at Augill Castle

Veronika Robinson has had the immense pleasure of being a celebrant for twenty seven years. She officiates across all rites of passage from Callanish to Cornwall (and overseas upon request) however mostly works in Cumbria. She is a tutor at Heart-led Ceremonies Celebrant Training and editor of The Celebrant magazine.

 

This intimate wedding ceremony took place at Augill Castle in Cumbria. Surrounded by immediate family and a few friends, this beautiful ceremony reflected my couple’s Christian values. The beautiful bride arrived with her three daughters while Jill Lowther played guitar. It was a gorgeous Summer’s afternoon. 

 

We began with a wedding invocation followed by a ring blessing. Intentions were set based on their Christian values of caring, commitment, compassion, fairness, faith, forgiveness, gratitude, kindness and trust.

I talked about the blending of families, and the sacredness of family.

 

This reading was shared:

Blessing for a Marriage ~ James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you
all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring,
and may life grant you also patience,
tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another –
not so much to fill your emptiness
as to help you to know your fullness.

A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make the mountain less,
but more; and the valley is more a valley
because it has a mountain towering over it.

So let it be with you and you.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.

May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another,
and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise,
often say, “I love you!”
and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart,
may both of you hope to have good sense enough
to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery
which is the awareness of one another’s presence –
no more physical than spiritual,
warm and near when you are side by side,
and warm and near when you are in separate rooms
or even distant cities.

May you have happiness,
and may you find it making one another happy.

May you have love,
and may you find it loving one another.

 

Rite: Rosemary and Rose Ritual Handwashing

We drew upon an ancient Christian tradition of matrimonial handwashing.

 

The Giving of Rings

The couple had chosen vintage wedding rings as collecting vintage items was a shared interest.

 

Braiding of the Cross: Handtying

They also symbolised their bonding with a handtying. Each ribbon symbolised a quality they admired in their children. I then included a Christian reference.

The first ribbon symbolised a son’s quality of stability. This is something which will bring solidity to this marriage. May we be reminded of Psalm 16:8 “I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.”

The second ribbon was chosen to symbolise another son’s ability to remain steadfast.  In Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”

The third ribbon symbolised their daughter’s unconditional love.

From John 4:19 we are reminded: “We love because He first loved us.”

 

Another daughter’s resilience in life and to life was symbolised by the giving of a fourth ribbon. It is said that ‘tough times never last, but tough people do’. We asked that along the roads and bends of life, their blended family remain resilient.

The fifth ribbon symbolised another daughter’s generosity. It is hoped that throughout their married life, they will not only be generous with each other but extend this to all those who happen upon their path. From Proverbs 22:9 “The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor.”

 

The sixth ribbon symbolised the abiding and generous love of God. 

 

Caudle

Another ritual in their ceremony was drinking from the caudle. This vessel, traditionally used in castles, is symbolic of love, trust and peace between two people.

 

Their celebratory drink was warm apple and honey. Apple to symbolise God’s children and honey to symbolise the sweetness of God’s love. Together they remind us how much better our lives are when we remember God’s love.

While it is fair to say that the majority of my couples do not want a religious wedding, it was lovely, as a celebrant, to create something quite different from my other ceremonies.

 

Couple: Inga and Greg

Celebrant: Veronika Robinson

Venue: Augill Castle

Photographer: Joanne Crone

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Celebrant’s Notebook: A Dark and Stormy Night Cocktail Ritual

Veronika Robinson has been a celebrant for 27 years. She officiates ceremonies, across all rites of passage, from Callanish to Cornwall, however works primarily out of Cumbria. She is also a celebrant trainer at Heart-led Celebrants, and is editor of The Celebrant magazine.

 

Rite of Cocktail Mixing: Dark and Stormy

by Veronika Robinson

It was a dark and stormy time in Laura’s life when Steve brought just the right ingredients to turn things around. This ritual symbolises the blending together of their two lives.

The Dark and Stormy Cocktail is a rather mystical, mysterious and strong libation based on just three distinct ingredients:

Kraken spiced rum

Ginger beer

Lime juice

Rum symbolises that happiness and a good time were coming their way!

They each took turns adding the ingredients.

Rum improves with age. It has a way of becoming bolder and more confident, and this is what we wished for them individually and as a married couple.

Lime symbolises fidelity. We asked that they stay faithful to each other physically, emotionally and with each thought they had. Lime brings out the elements of this drink and, just like marriage, a tangy touch can bring out the essence.

 

Ginger is for abundance and good fortune coming into their home. We wished that this remains so for the rest of their lives.

 

To give this cocktail its stormy feature, Steve add a second shot of rum.

The individual ingredients still existed as entities in their own right but blended together made something interesting, distinctive and strong.

They then enjoyed three celebratory sips, with each one symbolising a different aspect of their love.

Couple: Mr and Mrs Stables 

Celebrant: Veronika Robinson

Venue: New House Farm, Lorton near Cockermouth, Cumbria

Photographer: Joshua Wyborn

 

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Celebrant’s Notebook: Ceremony Development


There are so many aspects to the art of creating a ceremony that, if you’re planning to book a celebrant, it’s worth really looking into what’s involved. Your investment in a celebrant goes way beyond paying someone to stand up and speak for 20-30 minutes or so.

 



Opening Up to Inspiration
From the moment I’m booked, ceremony development is happening. It is entwined in every interaction between me and the people I’m serving. My mind is integrating each piece of information I’m given, and I begin creating (in my head if not on the page). Certainly, when I come to the page (blank screen on my laptop or notebook), I’m already hosting an influx of ideas.

 



Listening
Listening is, I believe, the most important aspect of being a celebrant. By this I mean deep-level listening. This is about more than what you hear. It’s also about what’s not spoken, and having a keen awareness of body language. There’s another listening that happens, too, and for me this is listening to my inner voice (or intuition). This guidance supports me in all my ceremony writing (even, and especially, when my ‘logical’ voice is telling me otherwise).

To listen is to have a solid foundation for what is placed upon that.

 



Creating
Next comes creating. As a sensual person, my whole being is involved in ceremony creation. I can see it, hear it, perhaps have a sense of the scent of it (if there are perfumery rituals or we’re outdoors), and I really can feel the ceremony in my whole being. THIS, of course, has to be translated to the page.

 



Choice Making
Before a script is written, there are choices to be made (by me and/or my client), communication, research, considering my reaction to various ideas. Even in scripts with a short turn-around time, such as a funeral, where I’m working to the pressure of having to send off a script within 24 to 48 hours, I still go through the same phases of ceremony development (just in concentrated time).

 



Unseen Qualities
There is no price that you can put on a celebrant’s experience, creativity, empathy and intuition.

Obviously, we charge a fee as an energy exchange (money is, after all, our cultural currency) for our services but I often wonder about that potency or accuracy of that. For example, coming home from a double-grief funeral, when my heart is split in two from the trauma and tragedy story I’ve walked into and out of, I know that there is no price you can put on being ‘the keeper of stories’. What fee can you place on all the hours of walking beside another in grief?

 



And who holds the celebrant as they integrate all the grief they’ve absorbed from a congregation of mourners? Whether we like it or not, being a funeral celebrant can have a massive impact on our health as we’re having to ‘master’ emergent grief and empathy from spilling out. It takes a toll. And then there’s the stress of making sure a funeral service in a crematorium doesn’t run over time (even though a skilled celebrant writes their scripts to be time sensitive, other timing issues are well out of our control).

 


As a celebrant who officiates across all rites of passage, many of my ceremonies are happy and joyous. These too, despite the upbeat tone, also carry the weight of responsibility: to ‘get it just right’.

There are times, to the untrained eye, where I might look as if I’m just pottering around the garden admiring my flowers (which I am) but it’s also a quiet space in which to allow ideas to unfurl. Sitting on the sofa in silence, watching flames flicker in the woodstove or standing in a steamy shower are also times for ‘creating ceremony’.

 

 

My creativity isn’t marked by being at the laptop from 9am to 5pm. This is no ordinary job. I don’t actually see celebrancy as a job so much as a way of life. It is a constant energy exchange between me, the world around me, and the people I serve.

So I’m just as likely to be celebranting (creating ceremony) while cooking up a curry, watching rain drops slipping down the window pane, gathering raspberries at sunrise, or out walking in the woods.

 

Wherever I am, and no matter the time of day, all these places and moments have one thing in common: my heart. And this ‘ol heart is what takes me through each moment of ceremony development.



Veronika Robinson has been officiating ceremonies since 1995. She’s also a celebrant trainer for Heart-led Celebrants, and editor of The Celebrant magazine. She officiates ceremonies from Callanish to Cornwall, though primarily works in Cumbria.

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